36 hours

Something amazing happened yesterday!

I went for almost 36 whole hours without thinking about a bl^w job even once!! 😹

Here’s how it happened: I gave Toff his bj in the morning, and then the next one in bed the following night.

And the space in between?

My head was filled with other things. Writing projects and the state of my relationships with my family and friends, things the kids needed to do or places I needed to bring them, what to eat for breakfast and how I can create enough spaciousness for everything I want to do so that there is a nourished state to my nervous system.

And of course, at other times my head was empty of all things entirely. I lied on the beach and laughed as I pleasantly watched the mom sitting next to me playing games with her toddler and I watched my toes caress the smooth sand through the crystal clear water. I sat in the grass and felt each spiky blade as I dragged my palm across it. I lied down in the shade outside, blissfully sinking in to the heaviness in my body, letting gravity hug me gently to the earth.

But not once did I think about bl^w jobs.

Well, until I did of course. Until it came back into my awareness with a snap, “oh shoot! I haven’t given Toff his bl^w job yet…. have I? Did I even do it yesterday? It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve even done it…” I was relieved to find, when sifting through my memories, that I had actually done it, just one day before!

This tells me a few things:

1. I’ve been thinking an awful lot about bl^w jobs 🤭

2. This experience is starting to alchemise in my system. Six weeks in (I think) and it’s just not that big of a deal anymore. It is a regular experience in our life. How gorgeous!! Now, I expect, the real lessons will start to integrate.

Last night, in bed, when I’d turned myself on so much through going down on Toff that I had to jump on top of him instead of finish, Toff asked me, “has sex changed for you?”