Happy Birthday, How to be Naked!! 🥳

A love letter... to my first book. Happy PublishDate-iversary!!

Dear H2BN,

It’s been exactly twelve months since I first got to hold you in my hands!! I still remember the excitement I felt then. The disbelief. The sheer wonder and awe and overall shaky feeling that consumed my entire body - sending shivers through my whole system I can still remember and feel!

You arrived in two separate cardboard boxes, this distinction only important because it means that the time it took the delivery driver to return to his truck for the second box gave me enough time to make it out to the front door and absolutely, positively shriek and SQUEAL with delight!!

(…not that I had been watching at the upstairs window all afternoon for the truck to arrive…. 🤭)

I still see that postie around town sometimes, and we always smile and wave at each other. I imagine he doesn’t get the pleasure of seeing someone so happy with the work he does all that often!! This small connection is just one of the dozens that have entered my life in the past year. Some small, like this; others quite large with far more gravity - and all are equally sweet.

From day one, when I first sent you out to the people who had purchased a pre-sale copy of you (imagine that, dear book!! There were so many people willing to love me and support you before they even knew what you were about!! How gorgeous) you started changing lives.

Mine, obviously - for someone who took twenty five years to even start talking about her sexual trauma, you carried so much of my heart and vulnerability out into the world!!

But you have changed dozens of lives over the past year for other people, too!!

🥹🤭🥹🤭🥹🤭

I know, right?!?!

I started receiving the messages right away, and I’m sorry it never occurred to me to share them with you before! From here on out, I will read each one aloud to you when they come in 😘 (I’ve included a few down below for you now!!)

It only took a month or two until I realised that you were talking to me and guiding me to those who needed you the most.

The first time it happened was in Bali - I flew over for a Tantra Festival with my soul-friend Molly as a way to unwind from all the chaos of finishing you, publishing you, hosting a party for your launch (the largest event I had ever hosted solo… in my life!!!!) and when I was there, I brought a few copies of you with me. We travelled around, you, me, and Molly, toasting to your future and setting up sweet little tableaus to your beauty (one of the reasons I think you carry so much healing energy for people is because you are absolutely soaked with my love and intention!! Outside of Gina, our fabulous editor, and Ella Nicolle, who took the stunning photo I used on your cover - I did it all. I did all of you. And I think this is a potency of energy and devotion you can feel.)

And at the end of the 5-day retreat, I remember I had one of your copies sitting on the desk right beside my door. I quickly glanced your way, and you said, so clearly, “I’m Iza’s.” Give me to Iza.

I had no reason to believe that Iza would want you. She was a lovely and bold woman who had said she enjoyed my performance when I read a chapter of you aloud, sure…but we hadn’t talked that much, and it still felt quite preposterous to have a feeling that was this clear about her…

But I trust you.

So I grabbed you instantly, and went to find Iza…

“I don’t mean to be pushy, but this copy of my book…” and before I could get any farther, she started nodding her head wildly.

“…says it’s for you. So if you want to buy it...”

“YES!” She exclaimed, barely waiting for me to finish. “Yes, I do want a copy of your book. I need it. Thank you.”

I couldn’t actually believe it.

It’s entirely possible she would have thought I was crazy… (I’m no stranger to that phenomenon…) But she agreed. And it was your guidance who got us there.

Thank you so much.

♡

The reality is, that most of this year has been a slow and quiet sort of journey for you and I. To be fair, I expelled almost zero energy in marketing you, and hardly pushed sales at all. I got you into a couple stores in Adelaide, but didn’t push all that hard. Sometimes it feels like you’re on your own journey. And, if I’m being completely honest… I did kind of hope (maybe still kind of do hope…) that you will find your own path without me pushing for you.

That still feels somehow right to me.

I have very little evidence to support this… but still, I can’t help but feel that it’s true. That your words are so helpful and so kind that more and more people will discover how. How could they not??

I feel a little guilty right now for not fighting for you more. But then… I also don’t think that kind of energy is truly going to help your energy expansion…

All in all, I can hardly believe it’s been a whole year since you’ve been published! I can’t quite imagine how I did it… how I found all of that time and devotion to create you… it’s almost as if I can’t even remember it exactly. It feels like I’m trying to imagine the past and reality of your creation instead…

But from your first moments, I knew you were going to make a difference - when I first got covid on a tropical island and had to isolate and realised I could maybe use this time to write the first draft of you, to the second time I got covid on a tropical island at an actual writing retreat - all the way through to my most pivotal moments of healing - getting my story out of my body in a clear and concise manner, figuring out how to share my story without harming anyone or impeding anyone else’s ability to heal, flying to the states to tell my parents (here’s a fun little fact for everyone else…. if you choose to write a book about your journey of healing, chances are you’re gonna hafta write about what you’re healing from… which means that all of the people who don’t know about it are gonna know about it, real soon.)

SN: I told as many people in person about my trauma as I could.

How do you unravel a secret you’ve been keeping for three decades…?

And even now, one year on - I can feel the energetic difference between the people who I told in person, and the ones who I am relatively close to in life but didn’t manage to tell on my own. One of the most surprising aspects of this journey is that absolutely zero people in my real life have come to me and said I didn’t know… And that is fascinating and a little confusing to me, too, because I kind of expected it. We all just want to feel seen. Maybe they feel a little left out since I didn’t tell them in person… I can imagine that for myself, if I were in the same place. I can also imagine that I wouldn’t exactly know what to say, either. So I don’t blame anyone. It’s been a fascinating lesson for me on the power of connection - and how a secret shared one-on-one stands to bring us closer, while one that we leave out in the open to be discovered on it’s own doesn’t have that same power. There’s no connection without connection.

But none of that is of any consequence to you, dear book.

You’ve changed my life - you’ve showed me how easy it is to follow through on things I want to do. And you’ve showed me how important it is to just keep going… And the beautiful power of sharing our stories. And through the journey of writing you, through getting so clear about the minute details of my own story within myself, I could start to create some separation from it.

This isn’t me. This is a story.

And it will carry as much power, and whatever kind of power, as I allow it to.

And that is incredibly healing, too.

And you’ve changed other lives, as well.

Here, have a look:

“Cara, abundantly brave, curiously honest, charmingly intelligent Cara! I held my breath the entire time I absorbed your words. Thank you for sharing your story and allowing your vulnerability to heal. Thank you for the space in which my heartbeat raced so uncontrollably, continually throughout your story for within the pages I feel my own. Thank you for helping me feel worthy and not alone. Thank you for knowing your words can heal. Thank you for consolidating the deep traumatic feelings of keeping a secret only to have it whittle its sharp edges all the way out any way it can. No matter the ways in which you convince yourself to hold it in. Thank you for knowing it hurts more in than it does out. Thank you for being you. I only wish I could hug you tighter now if that is even possible.” -A

“ohhhh Cara those last two chapters got me 😭😭😭 I don’t know what else to say, except I felt it all so deeply. The way you so generously and vulnerably and eloquently share is beautiful. I can feel how your sharing is a vehicle for freeing and healing for anyone who reads it willing to open and feel & I imagine it creates deep solidarity and permission ✨✨✨ Exquisite Beauty-Fully Woman 🥰👏❤️” - K

“And in 24 hours I have finished your book my beautiful friend. I cried for about an hour. I don’t quite have the words right now, but I do want to say I am so incredibly proud of you for sharing your stories and send you all the love I an muster.”

“Done, done and done!! I have just finished and just wow Cara, I am so grateful to be able to witness even more of your journey! I see so much of myself in your stories, (sooo much! 😅)and hear my inner voice overlay yours. I guess I might know a thing or two about bright confidence and deep avoidance. What a beautiful journey and I cant wait to see what wild joyful magic bursts forth from you next! Xx”

“I’ve finished your book ❤️… I believe those whom seem the happiest make their lives better from pain & heart ache. The pain you’ve carried, I’m so sorry. No outsider would ever had known. But I get you, I feel I’ve done the same for the past 28 years. And it really does have a heavy weight on every inch of your body without knowing. Your words and explanation of how it’s affected you and made you feel really resonated and opened up my mind to ways I’ve felt without that sense of knowing that’s what it was. I feel you. I feel the words in your book. I held back tears until the end. I don’t cry, I don’t show emotion … I’m a cold stone but the 2nd half of page 225 hurt. I hurt for you and how long you held onto your secret and I hurt for me. ‘following your truth and embarking on the most terrifying mission of your life.’ I wish I knew where to start or where the end might be to reach your courageous journey. I know it will look different to yours, one day something might make sense and lead me down the right path. …I don’t know why I needed to write this. I think it’s just to say thank you. Thank you Cara for being you, embarking on all you’ve been through to come out the other side and share your story. I won’t be the only one you’ve struck a cord with I’m sure, but if I am - just know every word written and tear you’ve cried to get to where you are now was worth it. 💖” -J

♡

It’s an honour, dear book, to receive these words on your behalf. It’s an honour to hold you, and to help you get out there and help so many other people feel seen.

Happy birthday.

Thank you thank you thank you

I love you I love you I love you.

Here’s to the next 12 months, hey??

xx

Cara

🍉✨

ps - you can find How to be Naked on amazon!! Or if you’re in Adelaide, I left a few signed copies with my friend at Aura by Shara down in Myponga - get yourself a gorgeous haircut or massage (and enjoy a coffee next door at Yore!!) and buy one from her!! x X