Rebekah.

She came to me with a smile.

Actually.. that’s not true. First she came* with an orgasm.

Head thrown back with a wide smile.

But that smile came from pleasure.

From joy.

She came in glimpses of long golden hair.

Waves of it.

She came with the sun.

And a pair of magnificent wings. (Her own, although sometimes her gift of flight is attributed to her lover - let the record show that she has her own.)

She came with two lovers.

One to ground her. (Atlas.)

One to help her soar. (Zeus.)

She came first, as a being - I didn’t even know her name!

She came with a feeling.

Love. Beauty. Flight.

She came with a song that filled my head

History books forgot about us. The bible doesn’t mention us.

But I didn’t know her name I didn’t know her name I didn’t know her name.

To be fair, Atlas and Zeus came to me before their names did, too.

Wait - that’s not right. Atlas came first, well before his name. A pink-haired spirit guide told me, “he’ll tell you his name himself.” So I knew him first. I knew the feel of him first. A sturdy presence I could feel in my body, like the warmth you feel on your skin from someone standing close to you - only there wasn’t anyone there. (not physically, at least.) And the warmth is a depth I feel below my skin.

I felt him first.

Then Atlas’s story started filling itself in.

And Zeus came next.

He did come with his name, only because he’s Zeus, and his name usually precedes him. I knew he was here, he kept showing up in the story. But I didn’t think he was mine! I didn’t think he was part of the story. I thought he was just a guest. I thought he was too far off, too untouchable, too big, too good, too famous - that’s just too many too’s!! - to be in my story.

Until I figured out that that’s just not true.

He was coming. He kept coming. He was already here. So he must be meant to.

I don’t know why I keep explaining myself to you.

(And at the same time… I don’t think I’m explaining myself very well at all…)

Maybe because this is all slowly unfolding within me. This story writes itself as I share it. This story births itself, creates itself, and it only fills me up enough to bring more of itself to life when I share it!

So here it is.

A story about Atlas, the Titan who guards my heart (I’m not sure I’m allowed to share that- I think at first I wasn’t meant to share that - but I do not know why. I can’t fathom why anymore. That piece isn’t any more preposterous than any of the rest of this. But maybe it’s just that he wanted to introduce himself to me, first. He didn’t want anyone else telling me about him - because when someone else tells us something we can shrug it off as being something else. We can discount and discard the idea of it oh that just came from them! They suggested it and I just took hold…. And then we believe ourselves a little bit less. We trust ourselves a little bit less.

No one brought me Atlas. Or Zeus or Rebekah. They came to me.

These stories just keep coming to me, and for some reason, I absolutely have to share them with you. It’s the sharing them that drives the plot forward. It creates the space that creates the vaccum that pulls more story into me (so that it can then pour out of me.)

So!!!!!

Back to Rebekah.

She came first, with an orgasm.

When did she first come into this story?

(See this is why I need to write it down… it gets hard to remember!)

Hold on, let me try to remember.

First there was Atlas. The feeling of him.

I felt his presence. And then I felt his love for the earth, and it felt like the earth was my own body and I could feel him worshipping her. Atlas worshipped her/me and I could feel his love. And through that love I could feel how easy it was - for the masculine (Atlas) to support the feminine (mama earth) and it was like gravity didn’t exist and they were turned totally upside down until no one could even tell who was supporting who anymore. I was just left with the feeling of melding. Of union. Of a devotion so unshakable that it will likely outlast all other stories (it practically has - name a story older than Greek Gods and the Titans???!) And I learned a lot from that devotion. The power of love, primarily.

And the next thing to come was a story of Atlas and his best friend. So now we have Zeus here, too.

And then… her.

Rebekah.

She comes as a love affair.

I tried to pair her with just one of the boys at first.

She came with an orgasm, remember (how could you forget??! I keep yabbering on about it!!) and I tried to follow that back to it’s source. I thought it had to be one of these boys. Just one.

It didn’t occur to me that it could be both.

(pshaw- what kind of non-monogamist AM I?!? It didn’t even occur to me. Sheesh.)

It was a love affair.

And it always happened in mid air.

Zeus and Rebekah, flying. Turning, rotating, spiralling over and over again in the air, in their bliss.

Until she slides silkily down to lower herself gently - an angel gliding down from the heavens - into Atlas’ arms.

And there is so much joy!

And passion!

And bliss!!

For all of them.

The lived for lifetimes like this.

One happy and delicious existence. This love story of theirs. They lived their bliss for millenia. Actual millenia. I’m not sure it’s ended yet. It may well still be going. (I don’t have what happens next yet.)

And then, they came with the song.

And the distinct feeling of cracked linoleum and homemade haircuts.

Pair of dull scissors in the yellow light.

(Because of the song…? Maybe. But it feels more real than that. It feels like this is a love story that’s been cast again and again through the ages. And one of them comes linoleum-scented.)

The last time we met (clearly, here, I am imagining that I am weaving this story out for you with spoken words, that you are all sitting in a circle at my feet - not scattered across the globe while I tap away at my computer at various corners of the world.)

I told you the story of her last time we met. How she first met Atlas (then Zeus).

But she didn’t even have her name yet!

Admittedly, it came to me halfway through writing it down (see??!! It’s the writing of this story that pulls more of it out of me!! I’ve never written fiction before, so I don’t know if it works this way for everyone. This feels bigger than fiction, though. It feels like truth. It feels like I’m serving some distinct layer of my highest self here.)

Also admittedly… the first time I heard it (her name, I mean. In my head.) I brushed it away quickly, smoothly. Without even giving it a second thought.

One swift stroke with the back of my hand.

An eraser gliding smoothly across a white board.

And when it came again, I brushed it away - again.

Fairy floss dipped tragically into water.

I didn’t give it much thought, other than No.

That’s not special enough, I thought.

It’s not very unique. Half the people I know named Rebekah don’t even like it themselves.

That can’t be it.

But it kept coming. It wouldn’t leave.

Nothing else came to fill it’s place.

So I looked it up.

And do you know what Rebekah means?!?

Do you even know what it means?!?!?!

It’s so flipping perfect!!!!

To tie together.

TO TIE TOGETHER.

Rebekah means to tie together - and also, “captivating beauty,” and also “earth,” of course!

Here she is, our golden goddess girl (or maybe she has brown hair… sometimes she seems to have brown hair…) she has wings and she is distinctly of the earth. She ties together Zeus above, and Atlas below.

She ties them together.

So here she is.

Rebekah.

History books forgot about us.

And the bible didn’t mention us.

Not even once.

xx Cara

🍉✨

*pun most definitely intended.