Words to Savour

on the magic of writing, and on finding joy there

Usually when I write, I simply ask myself what wants to come out today. Often, I only sit down to write when I know exactly what story I’ll write about, but sometimes I just feel the familiar burgeoning of words that means there’s a story that’s ready to share, and it is my job to clear the space to let it out and get it down. Sometimes it ends up being crap, and I erase the whole thing.

I can imagine, though, that there is some grand master or maestro of all the worlds’ words and stories, and I am called upon to help share them sometimes. Sometimes the writing is enough, and no one needs to read them at all. Sometimes just one person needs to read them. Sometimes the whole thing exists just so one person can read one sentence. Sometimes that person is me (possibly always that one person is me, at the very least.) It’s all perfect, though.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want my words to reach thousands, millions - or heck, even squillions of people! Isn’t that the dream? To find something that you like doing and have it reach all the people? Make an impact in some sort of way on them?

I read a poem in high school and it stuck with me so much that I can still repeat it from memory twenty years later (39 feels quite old sometimes… but then, it can feel awfully young, too! I feel like I’m still just finding myself, and I must say - it’s been the most delicious journey! Not every step of the way, of course, often it has been wildly painful. But the effect, overall, is delicious.)

Those words from that one poem are like a treat I’ve been savouring for decades. And I suppose that I’m not squillions of people - I’m just one… even if sometimes I feel like I contain multitudes within me on any one day. I’m still just one. So maybe that’s what we want… just to be memorable. To create something that connects us to just one other person.

We’ve lost that, a little bit - and it’s what has always drawn me to the written word. Social media has created a mass-production of content to consume that it all gets chewed up and spat back out again almost instantly. Sometimes it sticks, but most often it enters into one facet of us and immediately out another, clearing room for the next thing to enter.

Speed up. Go fast. Grab this, then that.

It all just feeds a culture built to be productive, where productivity is valued higher than almost anything else - including our health. (blech.)

Reading slows me down. Writing does, even more.

When I find words that stick I’ll sometimes describe the feeling to Toff (a non-reader).

“Listen to this,” I’ll say, eyes and heart filled with wonder at a beautiful turning of phrase… It just feels like the words have found a place to stick inside of me in a way that makes it seem like the space for them already existed, and now I’ve finally found just the perfect little thing to place there.

And he’ll look at me with no small sense of …nothingness.

“Cool,” he’ll say, “…I think you like words more than I do…”

The magic of it is lost on him.

But give him a pencil and a napkin in a coffee shop he likes the look of, and he is transported away to another world entirely as he sketches ideas about what he would do if it were his place…

Or better yet, give him a group of people to bring together, and he will light up like a light house.

We all have our own sort of magic, I suppose.

Do you like words, too?

Here, see how these ones make you feel:

“It was impossible, of course. But when did that ever stop any dreamer from dreaming?”

Or this one…

“And mirth worked its mundane magic, leaching the tension from [her] spine and relieving the cold dread that had been pressing on her all evening. And that’s how you go on. You lay laughter over the dark parts.”

Close your eyes for a second.

How does it feel? In your body.

I know that words collected by one person else rarely hold the same quantity of magic for someone else, but maybe you have a space that they’ll fit, too.

Maybe, because you’re here, you’ll have similar shaped spaces to mine.

I think that’s how this all works.

Both of those quotes are from Strange the Dreamer, by Laini Taylor - and if you liked them even a little bit, you should read it. I think you’ll love it. The story is rich and detailed and consuming in the most delightful way, and her way with words is just so scrumptious. And if you liked ACOTAR or Fourth Wing, you definitely need to read this next. Put it on your reading list right now. Wink, kiss.

I have one more bit of magic to share with you before I go pack for tomorrow’s impending ferry ride back to Bali - we’ve been on this tiny island (it’s literally 5km in circumference, and you can walk across the whole land mass in just 30 minutes) for three weeks, and are loathe to go. But our visas are set to expire… so go we must!

We’ll be back though.

Okay!! The magic I promised you! This one came from my highest self, accessed through meditation a couple of months ago:

Make sure that what you write brings you joy.

You should enjoy the things you write.

You should, actually, enjoy all of the various aspects of your life.

Who knew!! What a wildly preposterous idea!!

That our life gets to be something we enjoy!!

So if words do it for you, welcome!!

If running does it for you, enjoy! (It’s not my magic…but if it works for you I am so happy for you!)

If riding or building or climbing or cooking does it for you - by goddess! By gawd! Goodness gracious - do more of it!!

What use is all this work we’re doing as humans who are attuned to healing if we don’t simply create space to enjoy the things around us??!

It seems like a pretty simply concept, but one that’s quite revolutionary and preposterous, too. And I do think that most of us, even the ones who logically can understand this concept, aren’t actually acting from this space most days.

I know I’m not (but I’m trying…)

Most days pass without us even noticing them. Rhythm, routine, structure - none of them are dirty words on their own, but they can paint over our lives until the whole thing is a solid mess of grey. And that makes my lip curl and my stomach clench.

Oh, shit!! I’ve wasted so much time!!

I’ve wasted so much time worrying about what others think of me, and trying to follow a plan that belonged to someone else. I’ve lost years of time thinking that I am anything less than a gathered collection of stardust and joy!!

Blah.

Being present with my body slows it down for me. And I’m delighted to be entering a chapter of life where I trust and listen to her more. When she’s filled with words, I write them down. When she wants rest, I give it to her. When she is sad, I cry, and when she’s happy I laugh. When she doesn’t know how she feels or what she wants, I leave her space to figure it out - and trust that the next thing will emerge before long.

It always does.

🍉✨

xx Cara